last night i was stupid. i went out with friends and had way too much to drink. i was completly thoughtless. i didn't think about if i had too much how i would get home safely, i put my everything into the hands of a friend who was also completly trashed. i texted patrick, asking him to save me. i just felt so shitty and wanted his comfort. i knew that he wouldn't be able to really save me, i just wanted him to know that i wanted that. by the time i was home, and passed out, he had texted me four times asking if i was okay and worrying. tonight we went out and it was just horrible. he's so upset with how careless and stupid i was. he had a hard time looking at me, let alone talking to me. when he did his speech broke up. and i could barely talk back to him. we left on a horrible note, with him and i not really talking. he mostly just told me now dissapointed he was with me. in texts after i left the resturant i tried to explain myself. i know i haven't changed his dissapointment. i wish i hadn't been so thoughtless. i wish i knew what to do.