my body


I am a woman, average size by all accounts of society; I am ethnically mixed although never thought of myself in that way. I am young, not even a full-fledged adult according to American society; I am twenty. I am Ariel Marte

I am half Irish, a quarter Mexican and bits of Italian, Filipino and German. My skin is olive tone and features are Mediterranean. I am constantly asked what nationally I am especially since my name doesn’t give away any clues. When I was young, elementary school age there were two classes for each grade separated by language preference, English or Spanish. I grew up speaking English; I was in the English class and therefore identified myself as “white.” I don’t consider myself that now, I know that I am mixed but I find it hard to identify with all of my nationalities.

According to society and sales racks that never have my size I am average. I wear a size 9/10 dress and 9 in shoes. My chest is also average, but I’m sure men would think it’s bountiful. I think I could stand to lose twenty pounds and my stomach isn’t flat as an iron but I don’t put in the effort to change that. I eat what I want without over indulging and walk quite a bit as my form of exercise- at least that’s what I tell myself. When I look at myself in the mirror, just me, no clothing. I’m okay with my body. I, of course, nitpick but I am generally untroubled with what I’ve grown into and how I’ve kept myself.

I find it interesting being a woman and have often times thought how much easier things might be to be a man. I feel like as a woman I am not taken as seriously sometimes, with this knowledge I try to overcome that as often as possible. I like the sexuality and seriousness that can be carried within my body as a woman.

I am the oldest of three siblings from divorced parents. I had to grow up very young and take on enormous amounts of responsibility as a surrogate mother to my brother and sister. Upon entering middle school and moving in with grandparents this weight was lifted from my shoulders and I could just become a kid again. The learned responsibility hasn’t been forgotten and while only twenty I feel like I am much older. To the rest of society I am barely an adult and I find this a little difficult to comprehend at times. I do like being young, though the thought of aging is both scary and amazing. I find those that accept aging to be very brave and only hope that I will find that trait with years to come.

I, at the moment, am very pleased with my body and all it lets me experience. I find it hard to imagine this life from another point of view other than through out my own eyes. My body and experiences with it has shaped me into someone that I’m proud to be- a young woman.